Hooray for summer! School’s out, the weather is warm, and your kids are ready to play. Summer camp may be in the picture, but what’s most enticing is the freedom and luxury to do absolutely nothing — until you’ve done it for a while.
It’s amazing how quickly the thrill of nothing to do can wear off, sometimes in a matter of days. That’s when you realize how tricky the transition from academic routine and structure to the lazy days of summer can be.
Most parents can make two safe predictions about summertime: Your child is likely to get bored easily and often; and he’s almost as likely to become demanding — of your time, attention, and patience. The way to manage summer’s lack of structure is to strike the right balance between free time and planned time. Use these guidelines to light your way.
Keep a calendar (but leave some blank spaces)1
Even during the languorous summer months, children need structure to feel secure and have a sense of what to expect. A simple calendar of events lets your child see what’s coming. Fill in ahead of time a mix of major summer activities, such as the family vacation or trips to visit relatives, and casual recreational activities, such as a weekend trip to the zoo or museum. For your younger child, you may also want to prearrange and mark down playdates.
Introducing a new way of doing things is often met with resistance, so be ready for your kids to protest the implementation of a summer schedule. Use the example of last summer (or this one if it is already underway and going poorly) to tell your children that you want things to go differently. You could say, “Remember last summer when you were bored and arguing with each other all the time? Having a schedule can help make this summer go more smoothly.” Stay very positive about the new plan and allow your child to fill in some of the daily activities so that they can contribute and, therefore, be more on-board with this change. The introduction of a summer schedule should be planned out ahead of time and discussed in a family meeting—avoid the temptation to announce it in the heat of the moment when your kids are acting out. This will only make it seem like a punishment.2
Once you have rolled out the new schedule, expect your kids to take a little time to adjust, but do your best to stick to it consistently. This will create the most benefit for the family.
Loosen the reins, but stay on course
The summer months cry out for flexibility. That being said, you don’t want to relinquish basic family rules and routines. It’s tempting to let kids stay up later in summer, and a bit of that is OK. But remember that even a little sleep deprivation can lead to irritability and meltdowns at any time of year.3 One of the key points to remember is that you want your child to have time to relax over the summer without losing all sense of routine. You’ll be surprised at how holding on to a reasonable structure in the summer will give him that extra help so he can transition smoothly when the new school year rolls around in the fall.
Try to maintain basic bedtime habits.4 Stick to scheduled chores, too, as well as other established behaviors. A whole day in front of the TV should remain taboo even during summer months.
Use community resources
Take advantage of the summer recreational and educational opportunities that most towns offer. Find a youth sports league, or sign up for day camp. Encourage your artistic child to join a children’s theater group or sign up for community art or jewelry-making courses.
In addition, visit local zoos and museums, and find out where and when summer festivals are scheduled in your area. Don’t forget to add selected activities to your calendar. When you plan ahead and write it down, you’re more likely to do it.
Help your teen find work
A part-time job is a rewarding way for an adolescent to spend some of their summer. While some teenagers are capable of finding a job for themselves, many need guidance and encouragement.
Start by defining work goals for your child, such as earning money or learning a new skill. Discuss the right types of jobs, based on her skills, organizational ability, and attention capability. Then help her choose where to apply. It doesn’t hurt to work on interview skills; role-play business owners and managers with her. Your encouragement and support may be just what your teen needs to follow through on a job search.
Let kids be kids
This may be the key to your child’s summer-vacation success. Essentially, being a child is natural, spontaneous, and easy. You encourage this process when you allow your child the time and freedom to do what he feels like doing.
As I said earlier, some structure during summer vacation is important. But so is unstructured downtime. Most children can be amazingly creative in finding ways to have fun. With your encouragement, the freedom to do nothing opens up countless possibilities to do anything.
Parents needn’t be constant entertainment directors in the summer. It may be more helpful to express confidence in your child’s ability to be creative and inventive — and then let him. So go ahead and schedule some activities, then get out of the way and let your child do what comes naturally.
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1 Kolberg, J., & Nadeau, K. (2012). ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from a
Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician. Routledge.
2 Schlicher, E. Restless and Bored: How to Use Structure to Keep Your Child from Getting into Trouble This Summer. Retrieved: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/restless-and-bored-how-to-use-structure-to-keep-your-child-from-getting-into-trouble-this-summer/
3 Baum, K. T., Desai, A., Field, J., Miller, L. E., Rausch, J., & Beebe, D. W. (2014). Sleep restriction worsens mood and
emotion regulation in adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 55(2), 180-190.
4 Bei, B., Allen, N. B., Nicholas, C. L., Dudgeon, P., Murray, G., & Trinder, J. (2014). Actigraphy‐assessed sleep during school and vacation periods: A naturalistic study of restricted and extended sleep opportunities in adolescents. Journal of sleep research, 23(1), 107-117.
