For years, university life has been the same routine of classes, outside activities, and balancing a job and maintaining a social life. Then suddenly– No more classes. No more essays or homework. No more meetings. The mortarboard is on and students are clutching their diploma illustrating years’ of hard work—with much hope and resolve to have a great life ahead. But what happens next?
This is the time after graduation where there is supposed to be a transition to the “real world.” More often than not graduates are either unemployed or underemployed and are left wondering if they will ever have an opportunity to use the information gained during the university experience. Questioning whether going to college was worth the student loans and all the work sets in. Facebook friends tout their great life “post-grad” and are an irritation. Malaise and funky downheartedness ensues. Then follows hopelessness and feelings of worthlessness. Congratulations, you have the post-graduation blues.
The vast majority of students live away from home for the entirety of their university experience. Now after graduation they trade new-found independence, power and responsibility for living back at home due to lack of funds. For most this can seem like an unnatural step back, or a regression to a pre-university self that was not so in control and independent. For some, returning to home comforts is preferred, but for many, feeling dependent with no real structure feels restrictive.
How do you pull out of this funk and begin looking toward the future? Here are some tips to get you back on a positive track toward adulting.
1 – Make a routine. Get some structure in your day.
When you were in college you probably didn’t realize how much was still being taken care of for you. Life after graduation brings all kinds of responsibilities, all at once, which can be overwhelming. Set reminders. Lots of reminders! You might prefer sticky notes, you might prefer your phone, but setting reminders will help keep you on track with everything from paying bills to getting your oil changed.
Start off with job applications in the morning, then take a break. Get some lunch. Go work out. Make some time for friends. During college, where there wasn’t enough time to pack everything into 24 hours, there can a bit of a shock when your schedule is suddenly empty. Reintroducing a schedule to your everyday life can work wonders.
2 – Take a social media holiday.
Social media is not a true representation of people’s lives and this can send us into a spiral when we see “how good” everyone else is doing. Take time to re-engage in real relationships outside the internet. You don’t have to completely deactivate your profiles, but take a holiday from social media—and see how it impacts you. Remember, most people only post “all that’s wonderful” on Facebook and social media—for all you know they were in a depressive funk too!
3 – Surround yourself with positive influences.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you. Read books, watch movies, and listen to podcasts about successful people. Listen to upbeat music. Don’t waste your time focusing on what isn’t happening in your life or expending energy comparing yourself to others. Everyone is not on the same timeline as you. Related to #2, social media can start a comparison game. Not everyone has a great job right away, marries early, or has children early. Some people don’t find their success right away and that’s perfectly okay.
Moving away from your friends is one of the most difficult parts of life after graduation. Get creative in the ways you keep in touch with your friends. Different people are in your life at different stages; even though you’re leaving friends behind, there will be plenty more to make in the future. Making friends isn’t necessarily as easy as it was in school when you were surrounded by thousands of people your age, so you will have to make an effort that is likely out of your comfort zone. Take the time to mark off some things on your “bucket list”– try new hobbies or explore new scenery.
4 – Make the most of the time off
I have never heard the word “fun” in the same sentence as “job search.” Job hunting is a tedious process. It is very easy to feel despondent over the lack of responses to applications or close the blinds and isolate. Don’t waste time drowning your sorrows in booze to escape or staying at home. Get out of your space—go to the library or coffee shop to work on applications. Look for reasons to take a shower and get dressed. If you just want to get out the house go somewhere new.Free time is a gift. Enjoy it while you have it. Take time to focus on things you love to do. Take some time to write, paint, or anything else you enjoy. Doing something you love can also help pass the time when you’re “bored.” Soon you will not have this time and wish you had savored it.
5 – Keep perspective on the employment front
When positions you thought you were perfect for do not come to fruition it can sting, especially if the interview went well. No one can truly know you in small period of one or two (or several) interviews. And often, they can only hire just one person who they felt was the best fit for their needs. Because you didn’t get the job does not mean you are a bad candidate. Remember that most employers wouldn’t have interviewed you in the first place if they didn’t think you had redeeming qualities. Potential employers that reject the opportunity to work with you are not rejecting you personally—they are rejecting your fit within their organization.
Falling into the trap of feeling like a failure is easy. You’re not a failure. Think of your accomplishments and write them down. If you can’t think of anything get the help of people who love you and want only the best for you. Reflect on what are you grateful for and list the things in life that make you happy. Whenever you’re feeling down, reflect on your list. This part of your life isn’t going to last forever and this is temporary— even though it feels like a lifetime.
If you feel like you could use someone to talk to about post-graduation, please give us a call and schedule an appointment 615-310-1491, you can also send us an email at clientrelations@consultingassociatesgroup.com.
References:
1 – https://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/so-youve-graduated-college-now-what
2 – https://thoughtcatalog.com/adriana-gomez-weston/2017/09/14-ways-to-pull-yourself-through-post-grad-depression/
3 – https://www.independent.co.uk/student/student-life/health/graduate-blues-why-we-need-to-talk-about-post-university-depression-8729522.html
